Self-Control

  Book Chapter Review

Book Title : The Willpower Instinct

Book Chapter: Putting the future on Sale: The Economics of Instant Gratification

What is your dream? Some people are asking us the question. Are you able to answer it? It is fine if you do not have it now. Take your time and discover it. I believe most people dream is to have long term health and happiness, financial and time freedom. However, it is just a dream if we didn't do any actions. You must take a step to start to do something for your dream.

            Everyone of us always has a goal or dreams that we want to achieve in the future. It is very easy if we just mention it. However, the journey towards the dream is full of challenges. Life is not easy provided it is not empty. Here I am going to share two techniques on how to overcome the obstacles towards the dream. 

 

            Firstly, forgive yourself if you procrastinate your task or broken your resolution. We must accept that we are human, sometimes we are lost control. Push yourself too hard is not the way to help you achieve your goal. If you lost control and criticize yourself, you feel guilty and lose motivation. Your brain will say, what the hell, I have missed the action, I might continue to play my favorite games. Therefore, you will continue to indulge yourself in playing games. The cycle is repeated over and over again and you lose your goal and direction. Why does this happen? This is because self-criticism leads to bigger will power failure.  

                    

            How to avoid self-criticism? It is self-compassion. Tell yourself that it is fine to miss an important step or made mistake. Forgive yourself and accept it. Try to stop and ask yourself why you fail to resist temptation? Why you lost control? Think about it and find the root cause. You can learn from the failure experience and willing to listen to feedback from others. You start to grow and you will become better in the future. Forgive yourself allows you to take the courage to embrace your weakness and have more courage to deal with it. I am feeling bad when I fail to achieve something. I feel better if I am willing to accept myself and I find a way to overcome it.

                   

                       

            The second way is the 10-minute rule.10-minute delay can help you more focus on future rewards. Most of us seek immediate reward and less focus on future reward. How to change your attention? Using the ten-minute rule. Imagine that you are on diet. When there is a chocolate cake that appears in front of you, you are excited that you want to eat the cake. You are craving it because it looks delicious.  So now you put the cake away from you and tell yourself that just wait for 10 minutes before you eat the cake. Your brain will treat eat the cake like a future reward. Your brain will not choose immediate gratification immediately. Your desire is decreased dramatically after you wait for 10 minutes. The longer you wait for the reward, the less temptation you want to eat the cake and you will focus more on the long-term reward. You will let others eat the cake. The 10-minute rule is one of the best ways to enhance your self-control. 

            Life is a journey and it is not the destination. Self-compassion is the way to help you forgive yourself if you miss the step towards your goal. Try to reflect on your mistake and find a way to improve yourself.  Next is the 10-minute rule. Try to delay 10 minutes before you seek immediate gratification. 10 minutes is enough for your mind to switch preference and you can more resist temptation and made a better decision. Lastly, I wish you can apply these two techniques to enhance your life!