Ask for Truth

 Book Title: Ask more

Book chapter: For the Record: Confrontational Question

Author: Frank Sesno     Reviewed by: Jason Cheng Qi Quan

            Why! Why! Why! I can't understand! Can you tell me why?  A lot of questions appear in our minds. we desperately need an answer. We demand an answer from others.  How do get the direct answer? Ask people! How to ask?  Ask confrontational questions correctly! We need to raise our courage to confront other people to get the answer. Here are some tips on how to ask precise confrontational questions.

            Firstly, know your goal. Try to think what is the objective of asking the question and what is your expected answer. Align your goal with your values. For example, you ask because you want to fight for justice, help to secure other people's rights or made a change. Plan your question properly before you ask. You can imagine the trajectory of your question to guide you towards the right answer. A clear objective of asking to reduce the chance of getting conflict with people. You are mindful of your question and able to handle the conversation well. If you ask without thinking, you will lose in the middle when you asking the question. Therefore, the question with a clear goal guide you to get the right answer. 

        You must know your facts before you ask the confrontational question. You ask for change, ask for enhancement ,or demand a correct action to solve a problem. Facts are the most powerful tools to help your express a problem and demand the right answer. It is a knowledge foundation to help you confront or accuse others.  This can avoid you asking the wrong question and made yourself embarrassed. Nowadays, information is at our fingertips. You can leverage all the resources from books, the internet, or magazine. Collect all the relevant facts and data to support you and boost your confidence to ask questions. Nowadays, it is very convenient to obtain information from google search. For instance, just type buildurpower, you can access this blog to get the answer to support you in life. You can use the facts to question others and demand the right action or change other people's life.  After you know your method to ask the confrontational question, you can start to apply to our conversation. Try to apply these techniques if necessary. 

        Moreover, the yes-or-no question is one of the techniques to confront others. It is applicable when you lose your items. At that moment, you think about all the possibilities of finding the items. You think maybe someone takes it accidentally or maybe someone saw your item. therefore, use yes or no questions to ask people around. 

Me: Hi Jane, did you see my pen on that table?

Jane: No. 

Me: Hi Luffy, did you take my pen? 

Luffy: No. 

From this simple conversation, I can confirm that my pen is not on that table and Luffy is not taking my pen. I have eliminated the possible place of my pen and will discover my pen as soon as possible. 

           Here I am going to tell a truth. Accept the facts that people will answer you in a defensive and evasive way. Most of the time the reality is not the same as expectation.  Other people may get angry or lose control. Here is the most challenging part of asking the question. For me, I am always overthinking before asking the question. Before I ask the question, my mind has a lot of questions. Is this question hurt other people?  Is it an annoying question? Will they criticize me when I ask this question? How other people look at me when I ask the question? This question always prevents me to confront others. I am seeking a solution to overcome the fear of asking. Luckily I found this book. If I know my goal clearly and have facts to support me, why fear? The evidence is at my side. It is like a shield to protect me before going to battle.  I hope that these question techniques will help us to raise the courage to ask a confrontational question. If you have encountered the same scenario, comment below and share your idea! I always love feedback because feedback is a way to improve myself.