How to Gain Positive Emotional Energy

 Book Title: The Power of Full Engagement

Book chapter: Emotional energy: Transforming Threat into Challenge 

Author: Jim Loehr& Tony Schwartz   Reviewed by: Jason Cheng Qi Quan

You are so emotional! Why can't just take it easy?  This comment is familiar, right? Is being emotional good or bad? That is no answer. We are human. Sometimes will lose our temper when we confront with an unprecedented situation. We get frustrated when things do not go smoothly. We get angry when the situation goes worse. When we have bad emotions, don't suppress them. Welcome it and acknowledge it. Take a few deep breaths. All of the anger and frustrated feelings will fade away slowly. 

        How to control your own emotion? There are two ways. Enjoy your hobbies and seek for intimate relationship. Hobby is your favourite activity. For example,  It is the activity that made you feel pleasure and relax.Quality of emotional renewal is depending on how absorbing and enriching the hobbies appear to be.  Therefore, engage  it and enjoy it as much as you can. For example, gardening ,reading , singing and dancing are  relaxing hobbies are the source of pleasure. It transforms anxiety into enjoyment. Most of the time our life is in a hustle state. 

        We rush for deadlines and keep solving the issue. Don't think that we only have time if we stop working as freelancers or employees at the  office because it is unrealistic. We must learn how to appreciate and optimize our time in the middle of hustle. It is equivalent to "me time". Slow down the time you feel it. Although the  amount of time is fixed, we can prolong our feeling time. It means when you spend 1 hour on hobbies, you feel like 1 day. You can take this chance to relax and slow down your pace. 

            A heathy relationship is also a way to help you regain your emotional energy. We have different forms of relationships in our life.  It is depending on how are you going you invest your time on it.  I am a person who always studies or works hard on something.  Firstly, I think that invest in a relationship is a wasting of time. I would rather spend time on my learning. So I keep learning and remain in solitude. In my working life, I work hard because I think that  work hard is the way to success. As time progress, my social circle becomes smaller and smaller. After a certain period, I realise that I will get tired and get into a bad mood easily. Negative thoughts keep appear in my mind and it consumes my energy. It brings negative consequences to my life in the long term without invest time in the  relationship.  

        I realise that work hard do not necessarily pay off at our expected time. There is a huge uncertainty between success and hard work. The relationship between hard work and success is not linear. Success will come one day if we keep work hard consistently and have a strong belief.  During the journey, positive emotional energy plays an important element because it  helps you to achieve success in the snap of the finger!  

        Therefore, I  raise the courage to  join toastmaster club to know more professional people. I am happy because I have made new friends in the club. They are friendly. I feel relax when I spend time with them. I have built a reservoir of positive emotional energy that can energize me. If positive emotional energy is at its peak,  I can  concentrate at work and spread the positive energy to colleagues and the boss.  It takes time to build a strong relationship. The fundamental of sustaining it to trust and caring. We must notoverthink or too sensitive to the situation. We must see to believe and live with the natural flow of energy.

        How to maintain a positive relationship? Be empathetic and sincere. Listen to others. Try not to judgemental when you begin the conversation. I always believe that everyone is unique and remain neutral. Put yourself into their shoes. Try to understand them from your heart. After that, give your suggestion by lowering down voice. Let them you are sincere to give the idea to make the things. For example: You can say "Here is my suggesstion. I can see the possibility of doing this" during a brainstorming session. 

         Next,a sandwich method is an appropriate method to evaluate other people. At the beginning of evaluation, voice out all your positive observation to others. People will feel less defensive and feel confident.  After that, you can give your critical feedback. Tell them the area of improvement.  Finally, you can end the evaluation and with encouragement. People willing to accept the weakness and improve along the way. Why? Because they are feeling positive. Positive energy can drive people forward to a better future.  

           Lastly, we know that life is like a roller coaster. It always up and down and we can't always have positive emotional energy all the time. Sometimes we may get hurt , lose our loved ones or lose hope. We must not push away but accept it. Treat it as life spices. Hobby and intimate relationship help us recover faster from a negative situation and regain positive energy again. It redirects our focus to happiness, love, gratitude, hope and contentment. The Hobby is the relaxing activity that made us feel satisfied and happy. Intimate relationships made us feel deep connections with others and feel positive.It builds our emotional muscles such as patience, empathy and confidence level. What are you waiting for? Spend your time with your loved one and start your hobbies today!