Book Title: The Gifts of Imperfection
Book chapter: Courage,Compassion and Connection
Author:Brene Brown Reviewed by: Jason Cheng Qi Quan
How is life? We are always asked by other people about this question. We smile and reply.I am fine,Thank you!Sometimes we are not willing to reveal our true voice when we meet other people. It is totally fine but when you ask yourself,how is life? This question is general and doesn't answer it because the answer is not always consistent. In our world, the constant in life is change. Covid-19 has transformed our lifestyle tremendously. Not all things that we acquired are forever. It fades away when time has arrived.We lose something but we get new things at the same time.
Marriage,career,health and wealth are the key indicators for our life. It is the art to learn how to manage it and matches your life purpose. We always want to achieve more and neglect the good things that appear on our life journey. Goal and journey towards a goal are equally important. We set a goal to guide us in our life journey. Next, focus on wellness,compassion and people regardless how is the results. If we keep thinking about expected results, the journey does not exist because our focus is on the future. Here I am going to share with you how to practice compassion and courage in the journey of achieving the life goal.
We must be compassionate ourselves before we can help others. Self-compassion is important because it cultivates courage to accept our failure and deal with it.
Here is the linked talk about self-compassion:
Self-acceptance makes us more compassionate. Why? When we understand ourselves very well, We know our ability and our life values. We cultivate peace inside our hearts. We stop seeing other people as enemies, envy others and compare ourselves to others. We start to become better self in the journey of achieving success.
After we accept ourselves, we need to set boundaries and hold other people accountable. When we give advice or criticise others,we must focus on the actions they have done or their behavior instead of their personality. Let them understand their responsibilities and act towards them. I believe that every action has certain reasons. For example, your friends is late because of traffic congestion, your partner shows up late for dating because they are spending time dressing up to show the create a good impression for you. If any bad things happens,take a deep breath, hold your anger,control your emotions. Ask them the reasons behind it, empathize with them and give them your suggestion to the problem. They are willing to change because of your compassion and sincerity.
Courage is the strength to enable us to confront with any situation in life. It enables us willing to risk being vulnerable and disappointed. All of us try to avoid the feeling of shame and fear. We fear making mistakes. We feel shame when we ask a simple question in the public. We feel embarrased when we voice out our weaknesses and show our vulnerability to others. We are fear how people look at us. Therefore, we must have the courage to seek help from the right people. Ask the people who can help you. Courage has a ripple effect too. When we voice out our weaknesses , people around us will have more courage to voice out their needs and situation. It enables the community to acknowlege the situation and arrange suitable resources to help us and people in need.
We think society is divided into two groups , people who need help and people who can help. However, it is not true. Everyone of us can offer help and deserve helps from society too. It is like hiking. In the middle of hiking, you accept help and guidance from hikers in front of you. At the same time, you give your hand to support hikers behind you so they can avoid falling due to a slippery surface.
After we have courage and compassion,the connection is created because you take initiative to appreciate the relationship. It requires effort to maintain a relationship. Although the journey includes painful and uncomfortable experiences, focus on the good side of it, learn how to handle it, grow and move forward! Bear in mind life always loves to support you! Cheers!
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